by Paula Hines Lonergan
In a recent discussion about whether it is easier to have a roommate or a marriage mate, someone said it was easier to have a marriage mate. I remained silent because even though I've had both, I wasn't sure which was easier.
Over the years when I was single I had many roommates. At one time there were four of us in a two bedroom apartment. The times I remember the most are when we would all occasionally be home at the same time and converge at the kitchen table to have girl talk. I don't remember a lot of fights or disagreements.
But the thing about roommates is that if you choose you can close the door and go into your room, without it being a problem. Everyone needs their own space and it is expected that you take advantage of it when needed, especially if one has the PMS.
Marriage, on the other hand, means you have to work at the relationship to make a success of it. You can't just go into the other room and close the door all the time. If you want the marriage to work, if you want your marriage to be happy, you have to hash things out, sometimes fight things out (in a nice way, of course), and discuss feelings and thoughts.
That isn't required in a roommate situation, except if the individuals are looking for a close relationship with the person they live with. Although, I've known of many successful roommate situations where the person shared the living space, expenses and not much more. It worked for them.
So, what is easier? Well, I don't know for sure. I guess it all depends on what the persons want and devote to their life situation, whether it is a roomie or husband or wife. No matter what it will take communication and a mutual understanding and adjusting on one level or another. People are complex and so are relationships, too, sometimes. You think? I do.
Writing and Publishing Tip:
It's a new year. Are you planning to write a book, articles for the newspaper, or poetry? Make time to write everyday. Even if it is just 5 minute or15 minutes a day. The more you write the more natural writing will become and you will find your projects getting done. Whatever those projects may be.
Inspirational thought of the day:
A proverb says sweet is the sleep of the one serving. Why so? The one serving may have little in the way of material things, but may be happy with the simple things in his or her life. When one has much, there is much to worry about, particular losing all the person may possess. One can lose sleep over the lost of what can rust, decay, or be stolen. Be happy with what you got, even if it is little, you won't have to sleep with one eye open which will make your sleep more sound.
Copyright 2005 Paula Lonergan.
All rights reserved.